Victory Over Sexual Abuse: Fruitful Friday

Friday, January 22, 2010

Fruitful Friday

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23

When I started leading groups two years ago, a woman came by my house to pick up her workbook. My family was in the driveway, playing basketball... She parked in front of the house next door, so I walked over to meet her and give her her things. We chatted for a few minutes, and as she was about to leave, she looked back at me with tears in her eyes and said, "It gives me so much hope to watch your family playing so happily. I can't help imagining that this is waiting for me too."

I have often thought about her and how she'd found hope in merely catching a glimpse at what life has to offer through recovery. It makes me think of the "fruit" that knowing God (and his powerful healing and love) has produced in my life.

On Fridays, I want to rejoice with you - sharing with one another a snapshot of the fruit that we've experienced on this journey from victim to survivor.

This is what PEACE looks like to me today.

I am reminded of a picture taken at church camp 28+ years prior. That old picture was what peace looked like to me as a little girl... A week at camp. A week of love and carefree childish fun. A week - the only week a year - without the fear of sexual abuse. Today, I walk in the tall grass again, holding the hand of my precious son, knowing the indescribable peace that God has filled me with...everyday! I am removed from the fear of nighttime abuse and daily neglect and rejection. And my heart has been healed enough that I know true, year-round peace. God is so good!

Have you seen fruit in your journey? I would love to see it!! Write a post on your blog, linking back to this post, and leave a comment here with a link to your blog. I plan to figure out Mr. Linky between now and the next Fruitful Friday - until then, we'll have to use the comments to share.

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Online recovery study

I lead support groups and have decided to take the information from the support groups and "teach" it here too. I will blog each lesson, give you time to think about it, comment if you'd like, email me privately, whatever works for you. It is always helpful to hear from others who are going through the same thing, so in the interest of supporting and encouraging each other, please consider sharing your experiences in the comments. You may do so anonymously if you'd like.

The workbook we are using is Shelter From The Storm by Cynthia Kubetin-Littlefield and James Mallory.

**Much of the content in the lesson postings is derived from, and even directly quoted at times, Shelter From The Storm. My personal comments are mine, but the process laid out here is from the book. I am merely a fellow survivor and lesson facilitator - NOT the author or creator.**

Why this blog?

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The daughter of an absent father who was brutally addicted to drugs and alcohol. The daughter of a woman suffering from diagnosed but untreated mental illnesses.

The "signs" of abuse and neglect started showing around age 8, but even I didn't recognize them until I was in my later 20's. I was very lonely, ashamed and embarrassed. I didn't know how to be in relationships and thought I was destined to be all alone, rejected and unloved. I tried desperately to "earn" people's love and acceptance, but pushed them away at the same time... For so long, so many people brushed aside what I'd been through, wishing I was lower maintenance and not who I really was - someone who'd been neglected and abused by her parents, a person who was completely changed by another person's failures and sin, someone who needed to be rebuilt, not cast aside or taken advantage of because she was broken.

I began to heal when I was finally loved unconditionally - first by my husband, then our firstborn child, then the Lord. My life was turned upside down - in a wonderful way - when I discovered that I am not the "orphan" I had felt like for so very long. I have a heavenly father!

I also discovered that what man means for evil, God will use to glorify him. What devastated me for many years is now something I draw on to help others as I lead support groups, talk to groups, and blog about the realities of sexual abuse and the hope there is for a complete recovery. I consider it a tremendous privilege to be able to share my experiences with you; hopefully encouraging you on your road to recovery. If you are not a survivor of sexual abuse, I invite you to stick around and read on. It is my hope and prayer that through this blog, you will learn more about how you can support a survivor in your life. Thank you for visiting.