I never set out with the intention to write a certain kind of post on here - I just write what's on my mind and in my heart. Recently, without realizing it, I wrote several posts in a row that depict the really sad consequences of sexual abuse in my life. If there is someone else out there going through the same things I have (and I know there are!), I want them to know that they are not alone. And for those who have harmed a child, I want them to know just how far-reaching the devastation can be. The details are hard to read, but it is a cold hard truth that sexual abuse destroys relationships...and very possibly lives.
I have received the kindest, most compassionate, emails and comments from readers here, in response to those posts. So many expressing heartfelt sadness over the loss in my life. I am deeply touched by your heart and concerns toward me. Humbled to be so tenderly received. Thank you. I love the community of survivors.
I want you to know though, that I am not destroyed by what happened to me. I once was, but I am not anymore. It is indeed very sad at times. I think it always will be... But I am so very good.
I think it's only natural to grieve a loss. Much like a death of a close family member, I will always grieve the loss of family I loved but can no longer be in relationship with. However, it is truly for my benefit to not be in relationship with them.
I am happy. Honestly, I am way beyond happy. I never in my wildest dreams thought my life would turn out the way it has. Happily married. Mother of two. No chaos. At peace with my past. Finishing my college degree. Volunteering at church and in my community. Surrounded by countless loving friends who have become family. My life is incredibly full.
I have not been defeated. I am not defined by someone else's sin. I am not even defined by my own sin!
Praise God for the healing truths found in His Word, the Shelter From the Storm study and groups, trustworthy counselors, wisdom and support of other survivors and cherished friends, and of course my beloved husband and children. These incomprehensible gifts have changed my life!