Victory Over Sexual Abuse: Holiday intruder

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Holiday intruder

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. An American holiday typically celebrated by gathering with one's extended family and feeling immensely thankful and joyful. At least that's what everyone says they are doing. And what I really wish I was doing...

The problem is that I get distracted by certain circumstances and allow them to suck part of the joy out of the gathering part of the day. The time when we're with extended family, but it's not mine.

It is very easy for me to prattle off an extensive list of all the things I'm thankful for. Truly, God has blessed me in ways I never imagined possible. Ways that I can scarcely put words to. He has given me new life here on earth, a husband and children, wonderful friends, a church family, financial stability, a fantastic community in which to live... and eternal life. I am deeply blessed and deeply grateful.

But the loneliness that comes with not being with my extended family on Thanksgiving is a heavy burden. It has lessened over the years, but the anguish rears it's ugly head at some point every year. It hit today.

I stumbled upon this a little while ago...

"Talk to God about whatever may be pressuring you and then commit the entire matter into His hands...Acquaint Him with it; yes, even burden Him with it, and you will have put the concerns and cares of the matter behind you. From that point forward, exercise quiet, sweet diligence in your work, recognizing your dependence on Him to carry the matter for you. Commit your cares and yourself with them, as one burden, to your God."

-Streams in the Desert

I am alone right now - for the first time since 5:55am. I am headed upstairs for some quiet time with my Heavenly Father. Let's see how I do at committing my cares and myself to Him this Thanksgiving. Sometimes I hand things over to Him and then take them back.

I am going to leave you with Psalm 37:5, but I encourage you to get out your Bible and meditate on all of Psalm 37. That's where I'm headed right now!

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you." Psalm 37:5

Good night, friends. And may you be blessed this Thanksgiving and always.

1 comment:

Nikki (Sarah) said...: Hope your day was the best. Happy Thanksgiving. Sarah; November 26, 2009 at 4:48 PM

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Online recovery study

I lead support groups and have decided to take the information from the support groups and "teach" it here too. I will blog each lesson, give you time to think about it, comment if you'd like, email me privately, whatever works for you. It is always helpful to hear from others who are going through the same thing, so in the interest of supporting and encouraging each other, please consider sharing your experiences in the comments. You may do so anonymously if you'd like.

The workbook we are using is Shelter From The Storm by Cynthia Kubetin-Littlefield and James Mallory.

**Much of the content in the lesson postings is derived from, and even directly quoted at times, Shelter From The Storm. My personal comments are mine, but the process laid out here is from the book. I am merely a fellow survivor and lesson facilitator - NOT the author or creator.**

Why this blog?

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The daughter of an absent father who was brutally addicted to drugs and alcohol. The daughter of a woman suffering from diagnosed but untreated mental illnesses.

The "signs" of abuse and neglect started showing around age 8, but even I didn't recognize them until I was in my later 20's. I was very lonely, ashamed and embarrassed. I didn't know how to be in relationships and thought I was destined to be all alone, rejected and unloved. I tried desperately to "earn" people's love and acceptance, but pushed them away at the same time... For so long, so many people brushed aside what I'd been through, wishing I was lower maintenance and not who I really was - someone who'd been neglected and abused by her parents, a person who was completely changed by another person's failures and sin, someone who needed to be rebuilt, not cast aside or taken advantage of because she was broken.

I began to heal when I was finally loved unconditionally - first by my husband, then our firstborn child, then the Lord. My life was turned upside down - in a wonderful way - when I discovered that I am not the "orphan" I had felt like for so very long. I have a heavenly father!

I also discovered that what man means for evil, God will use to glorify him. What devastated me for many years is now something I draw on to help others as I lead support groups, talk to groups, and blog about the realities of sexual abuse and the hope there is for a complete recovery. I consider it a tremendous privilege to be able to share my experiences with you; hopefully encouraging you on your road to recovery. If you are not a survivor of sexual abuse, I invite you to stick around and read on. It is my hope and prayer that through this blog, you will learn more about how you can support a survivor in your life. Thank you for visiting.