Victory Over Sexual Abuse: We can be victorious!

Friday, February 19, 2010

We can be victorious!

Kelly's Korner is doing a blog carnival today called Show Us Your Ministry. I am so happy to be a part of this, and I warmly welcome Kelly's readers to Victory Over Sexual Abuse.

You are either a survivor of sexual abuse or you know someone who is. It's true - 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before their 18th birthday. Most suffer in silence.

The entire purpose for this blog - the mission for the Victory Over Sexual Abuse ministry - is to provide hope and encouragement to survivors of sexual abuse and the people who care about them.

The recovery process is long and difficult. But, more than that, it is life-giving. Changing. Healing. Empowering.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

On my journey, I have traveled from a life of painful, shameful isolation and brokenness, to a place of joy, peace, love and acceptance. I have found purpose and wholeness. I have been renewed.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

At Victory Over Sexual Abuse, you will find the lessons from the workbook that we use in our local support groups, as well as pieces of my personal recovery journey. It is my heart's desire to share this with survivors and support people alike. The work of recovery can only be done by the survivor, but support people are a critical component in healing. Never underestimate the power of a support person's availability, affirmation, prayer and encouragement.

I welcome you, the survivor, and the survivor's friend! Read on... Take in the tools for the survivor, the tips for the support person, and the child abuse prevention and response information for everyone.

Bookmark this blog, become a follower or become a fan on Facebook. Let's have discussions in the comments! And, please, tell your friends -- since most survivors suffer in silence, you truly do not know who among you might need this.

To Kelly, all of my amazingly supportive friends, my husband and kids, and every other support person out there -- from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Your acceptance, care and concern are such an encouragement. As I have walked this amazing journey in ministry with other survivors, we have often been carried by your prayers and kind words. You are such a blessing.

And Jesus said "...Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me." Matthew 25:40

To the survivor, I pray that you will find this to be a safe place of hope and encouragement. I pray that you will shed the lies and discover the truth. You are loved. You are special. You are worthy. A crime was committed against you. You are not guilty. It was not your fault. It did happen. You can tell the truth. There is hope. You can heal. You are not alone. The list goes on...

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Matthew 25:40

As I think about each of you visiting right now, I am reminded that God uses all things for His glory and that only He can bring such beauty from ashes. I am deeply grateful for his loving provision and healing hand. I sit in awe of my Heavenly Father.

2 comments:

The Howell Family said...: Thank you for your post today! I know that it will be an encouragement for many who have survived sexual abuse. May He continue to bring beauty out of ashes for all of us! Love you!; February 19, 2010 at 9:50 AM
Anonymous said...: this blog is crap "God" is not the one helping an individual with their sexual abuse if anything the individual gets over it because they cannot change what happened to them.... It is called it happened and let it go. Rape happens all over the world I do not see those people searching for pity. Get over yourself!Yes it happens and it sucks...but it does not make an individual depressed or hate themselves or what ever else people say if anything it makes an individual stronger if they learn to let it go. I know these blogs are done for attention because no one should really express how "horrible" rape is ..it only creates a false perception in society...it is a self fulfilling prophecy. (The prevention against depression creates the depression. Then it is focused on the individual....; October 21, 2012 at 11:18 PM

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Online recovery study

I lead support groups and have decided to take the information from the support groups and "teach" it here too. I will blog each lesson, give you time to think about it, comment if you'd like, email me privately, whatever works for you. It is always helpful to hear from others who are going through the same thing, so in the interest of supporting and encouraging each other, please consider sharing your experiences in the comments. You may do so anonymously if you'd like.

The workbook we are using is Shelter From The Storm by Cynthia Kubetin-Littlefield and James Mallory.

**Much of the content in the lesson postings is derived from, and even directly quoted at times, Shelter From The Storm. My personal comments are mine, but the process laid out here is from the book. I am merely a fellow survivor and lesson facilitator - NOT the author or creator.**

Why this blog?

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The daughter of an absent father who was brutally addicted to drugs and alcohol. The daughter of a woman suffering from diagnosed but untreated mental illnesses.

The "signs" of abuse and neglect started showing around age 8, but even I didn't recognize them until I was in my later 20's. I was very lonely, ashamed and embarrassed. I didn't know how to be in relationships and thought I was destined to be all alone, rejected and unloved. I tried desperately to "earn" people's love and acceptance, but pushed them away at the same time... For so long, so many people brushed aside what I'd been through, wishing I was lower maintenance and not who I really was - someone who'd been neglected and abused by her parents, a person who was completely changed by another person's failures and sin, someone who needed to be rebuilt, not cast aside or taken advantage of because she was broken.

I began to heal when I was finally loved unconditionally - first by my husband, then our firstborn child, then the Lord. My life was turned upside down - in a wonderful way - when I discovered that I am not the "orphan" I had felt like for so very long. I have a heavenly father!

I also discovered that what man means for evil, God will use to glorify him. What devastated me for many years is now something I draw on to help others as I lead support groups, talk to groups, and blog about the realities of sexual abuse and the hope there is for a complete recovery. I consider it a tremendous privilege to be able to share my experiences with you; hopefully encouraging you on your road to recovery. If you are not a survivor of sexual abuse, I invite you to stick around and read on. It is my hope and prayer that through this blog, you will learn more about how you can support a survivor in your life. Thank you for visiting.