Victory Over Sexual Abuse: One Man's Story

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

One Man's Story

This is an amazing testimony from Dave Cox.

NOTE - When I posted this yesterday, I had a million thoughts running through my mind, but didn't know exactly what to say. I still don't know what to say, but I feel I should clarify one thing - Dave did not ask me to post this. Dave Cox was my church's pastor. Many friends from church may be checking this out just to see Dave, and I want to encourage you to do just that. He talks about you, and it meant something to me to hear it. I received this video via email from a friend. I have not talked to Dave in almost two years, so the video appearing here is not self-serving on Dave's part. The abuse in his childhood is no excuse for the poor decisions he made - and he's careful to point that out. But there is no denying that the abuse left a gaping hole in his life that he tried filling with various things over a period of many years. The results were devastating to thousands of people, many of whom are still dealing with it today. I see a lot of my own life in Dave's story and think many other survivors will too. Again, Dave made the poor decisions, but the initial void was caused by one person's sin of child sexual abuse... and that sin reached into the lives of many in our community.

Part 1:
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=e52ed0b7cbe2e4a426fe

Part 2:
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=7bb616c404f121a083ac

There are several LifeLines (support groups) at our church for hurting people.

Victory Over Sexual Abuse (women only) will begin meeting next Thursday, Jan. 22 in Overland Park, KS and Lenexa, KS.

Victory Over Sexual Sin (addiction to pornography, etc. - women only) begins tonight in Lenexa, KS.

One-on-one counseling is also available!

Email victoryoversexualabuse@live.com for information about any of these ministries.

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Online recovery study

I lead support groups and have decided to take the information from the support groups and "teach" it here too. I will blog each lesson, give you time to think about it, comment if you'd like, email me privately, whatever works for you. It is always helpful to hear from others who are going through the same thing, so in the interest of supporting and encouraging each other, please consider sharing your experiences in the comments. You may do so anonymously if you'd like.

The workbook we are using is Shelter From The Storm by Cynthia Kubetin-Littlefield and James Mallory.

**Much of the content in the lesson postings is derived from, and even directly quoted at times, Shelter From The Storm. My personal comments are mine, but the process laid out here is from the book. I am merely a fellow survivor and lesson facilitator - NOT the author or creator.**

Why this blog?

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. The daughter of an absent father who was brutally addicted to drugs and alcohol. The daughter of a woman suffering from diagnosed but untreated mental illnesses.

The "signs" of abuse and neglect started showing around age 8, but even I didn't recognize them until I was in my later 20's. I was very lonely, ashamed and embarrassed. I didn't know how to be in relationships and thought I was destined to be all alone, rejected and unloved. I tried desperately to "earn" people's love and acceptance, but pushed them away at the same time... For so long, so many people brushed aside what I'd been through, wishing I was lower maintenance and not who I really was - someone who'd been neglected and abused by her parents, a person who was completely changed by another person's failures and sin, someone who needed to be rebuilt, not cast aside or taken advantage of because she was broken.

I began to heal when I was finally loved unconditionally - first by my husband, then our firstborn child, then the Lord. My life was turned upside down - in a wonderful way - when I discovered that I am not the "orphan" I had felt like for so very long. I have a heavenly father!

I also discovered that what man means for evil, God will use to glorify him. What devastated me for many years is now something I draw on to help others as I lead support groups, talk to groups, and blog about the realities of sexual abuse and the hope there is for a complete recovery. I consider it a tremendous privilege to be able to share my experiences with you; hopefully encouraging you on your road to recovery. If you are not a survivor of sexual abuse, I invite you to stick around and read on. It is my hope and prayer that through this blog, you will learn more about how you can support a survivor in your life. Thank you for visiting.